My Typical Writing Day

7:00 am – Wake up, my mind full of possibilities and spectacular worlds to create and explore.

7:15 am – Dress toddler for daycare. This routine is similar to putting clothes on a kitchen garbage bag full of gelatin as it screams and tries to run away from you.

7:30 am – After what seems like hours, the wife and toddler finally leave the house.

9:30 am – Wake up, groggy and unsure who I am, after not knowing I fell back asleep.

9:45 am – Eat breakfast while reading emails, blogs, and Facebook as “inspiration” and “research” and a “stall tactic.”

10:00 am – Take a brisk shower to get the creative juices flowing (not a euphemism).

Writing -

Best “Jake and the Fatman” costumes ever!

10:30 am – Browse the web for newest Jake and the Fatman cosplay pictures.

11:00 am – Type as fast as I can, screaming the whole time.

11:10 am – Break Time!

12:00 pm – Eat lunch and catch up on episodes of Gossip Girl.

1:30 pm – Practice my signature for book signings.

2:00 pm – Struck by inspiration and a renewed determination to write!

2:05 pm – Daydream about what the cover of my finished book will look like.

3:30 pm – Try to beat that pesky level of Angry Birds I’ve been stuck on for so long.

3:45 pm – Lie in empty bathtub sobbing (not a euphemism).

4:00 pm – Type as fast as I can, for as long as I can.

4:10 pm – Wake up from passing out.

4:15 pm – Break Time!

5:30 pm – Wife and toddler come home. I panic.

6:00 pm – Feed dinner to toddler. This routine is similar to feeding a kitchen garbage bag full of gelatin as it screams and tries to run away from you.

6:30 pm – Watch the same episode of Dora the Explorer we’ve seen 7 MILLION TIMES!

8:00 pm – Put toddler to sleep. Watch some TV and drink heavily as a reward for not killing my child.

10:00 pm – Make some notes about writing to work on tomorrow.

11:00 pm – Fondle the fireman (euphemism).

1:00 am – Fall asleep as the greatest ideas known to mankind gently float into my head, to be quickly forgotten when the alarm goes off in the morning.

2 responses

  1. 1) That add fooled me – I thought there would be a brief add followed by a video you posted…boo.
    2) Before I can go on reading, I must know if the googley-eyed belly pic is anyone I know.

    • 1) I didn’t see the ad, it must be something WordPress does. :(
      2) I wish I could say that awesome physique was mine, but it’s not. :(

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